Learning to fail

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

In my younger days, failure always seemed like a source of shame, and it would make me avoid the things I wasn’t very good at.

The first real challenge was learning to drive.  I was afraid of trying to move this huge lump of metal across junctions and roundabouts with a real chance of a collision with another lump of metal.  I had 4 different driving instructors.  All in different parts of the country.

The first was in Bradford, a friend of my mother’s.  He had zero patience for my many mistakes – he would shout at me – needless to say, not many of his students passed.  I was training to be a teacher at the time.  I learnt how to teach without shouting or humiliation.  I didn’t do my test in Bradford because I managed to get a job in the Midlands. 

I was picked from my school, and I drove down quiet country lanes.  The lessons were peaceful, no raised voices, and very few hazards.  My instructor was patient, kind, and willing to explain why a manouve was unsuccessful.  She helped to build my confidence through self belief.  Again, I did not put my learning to the test as I moved again this time to London.

I couldn’t find a harder place to learn, congestion, impatience, and verbal abuse.  I failed my test three times.  I blame the huge roundabouts on the South Circular.  There were times when I would cancel the lessons because I couldn’t face pulling out when the traffic was moving so fast.

The desire for independence became more powerful than my fear.  I pushed through the pain and eventually passed my test.  I still have a sense of dread at those roundabouts, but nothing beats freedom.

I have faced many failures since then, but now I’m prepared to try.